I picked up a prostitute once. I was around 17 or 18 years old at the time. She was a little younger than me, heavy set, blond, and carrying around more emotional baggage than her sad shoulders could carry.
The truth was, this prostitute was part of a larger group of enslaved women pimped out by a satanic group. Their main purpose was to destroy lives, very purposefully and intentionally, with rewards such as clothing and jewelry given to girls who succeeded. Tracy ended up at our house in an attempt to seek refuge from her life as a street walker and to gain freedom from the grasp of the pimp.
Tracy lived with us for awhile – I can’t remember for how long, but each and every day was filled with turmoil and drama. This young girl had been abused in so many ways. She was a tormented soul, caught in the middle between wanting freedom and falling back into the only life she’d ever truly known. Every day, the battle within Tracy was so evident – she would go from making attempts at cleaning up her life and being almost joyful to, in the blink of an eye, becoming enraged and violent. Darkness and light at war within. Prior to that time, I had never witnessed something like this. It was powerful.
One day Tracy ran away from our home. It was during one of her enraged and violent moments, the darkness holding firm to Tracy’s heart. We lived on top of a mountain, miles and miles from anywhere. It was decided that I would go after her, hoping to bring her back to safety, warmth, and shelter until other arrangements could be made.
I found Tracy walking down the mountain road, talking to herself, and randomly swinging her arms in the air as if attacking an invisible enemy. After pulling over alongside the road, I did my best to coax Tracy back into the truck to return to our home. Again the darkness and Light battled within her, one minute allowing her the desire to get into the car and travel back to freedom. The next minute, Tracy would become violent, lashing out at me as if she were a wild animal. We would have been a sight to behold had anyone passed by.
In the end, we were able to get Tracy to a shelter where they could provide more specific care for her. I think she ran away again, and now I can only imagine what became of her. The whole experience taught me many things.
The #7 on my list of 10 things you probably didn’t know about me is that I picked up a prostitute once and tried to help her discover a different life. But in it, I learned that you can only help those who want to help themselves. And sometimes people are incapable of helping themselves. It is hard to let them go, to know that destruction is waiting for them just around the corner. It is really tough to reach out over a cliff to grab hold of someone about to fall, only to have them spit in your face, claw at your hands, and fall to death because they can’t stand to be saved.
Life is messy. I am so thankful I am not in charge. I’m thankful that God is sovereign, and that Light wins in the end. I am thankful for parents and siblings who aren’t afraid to get messy for the Tracys of this world. I pray my children follow that example, jump in and get muddy when they are faced with a Tracy.